presents...

The Estate: Old and New

When wedding bands from Long Island go bad.

Here's my theory: sometimes, a wedding band can become just too successful. When one gets big enough that they think they can record their own album of 50's and 60's covers -- watch out.

Bad and Worse should be the title of this record. Everything from the sound quality to the photography to the selections of the songs looks like it was done by Joey Buttafuoco one weekend when he had some free time at the garage. Actually, The Estate is made up of Roy Stassi, Tom Stassi, and Sal Stassi -- make that three Joey Buttafuocos.

My copy is signed by the band members and dedicated "To Betty and George" -- no doubt a thankless pair of newlyweds who suffered through The Estate's mediocre drivel on their big day. I hope their marriage was more memorable that this record.

The Estate: Old and New
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Songs:

Beatle's Medley (Real Audio) This track is nothing if not completely unnecessary. I can't believe this is actually on a record.
BarbaraAnn (Real Audio) This track is pretty awful. I recommend you don't even play it. I warned you.

See Also: Beats!!!!

Your Comments:

Davey Jones says:
I'll bet they used this album to pick up chicks for years. "Hey baby, me and the band just released an album.." "Really? Can I hear it?" .. "Oh, um, we're not allowed to play it for people yet, something about contractual obligations.. but doesn't it look cool?" (10-06-1999)

Vynyl Junkie (SASdj@Yahoo.com) says:
The music you are hearing was recorded on a Sanyo compact cassette recorder placed on the garage floor at the optimal distance of 47.7 feet from the band with a pillow on top of it to limit reverb. The tape used was a normal bias (hey, jughead, chrome is for cars!) Recoton 45 min. audition tape mastered to reel-to-reel through a top-quality Realistic 5-band EQ (for that perfect punchy, muddy bass sound) and a Sansui Solid State receiver connected to a pair of Thrusters loudspeakers. Gotta love the warmth of analog! The band practiced a whole 10 minutes after returning from the bar and tuning up before the session began. Liner notes credited Sal for graciously picking up the $300 bar tab before the session and Roy for remembering to close the garage door after they pulled the '49 Ford out. Folks, bands like this are the reason people hire me to make noise at their receptions instead of live bands! (10-04-1999)

SueBri says:
Oh thank tunderin jesus there wasnt a recording of the guy who played at my first wedding...otherwise you would have a matched set here..... (10-01-1999)

kenny says:
I don't even know who these guys were,but from the looks of things I would much rather listen to THE 5TH ESTATE instead.They were much better and talented even though they may have been in a studio band,but who really cares. Witth songs such as DING!DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD, & HEIGH-HO how can you really go wrong? You can't. (07-25-1999)

Sir Droopy Drawers says:
In keeping up with the spirit of the album, the car on the cover should be a Yugo! First the album ,bombed, then the car, now the country! Catch my drift? Please excuse me, my asylum awaits for me! (06-12-1999)

The guy that owns the car says:
I didn't just pose for the cover!! I played tambourine on several cuts and even contributed my patented technique of belching in time with the music, but the producer decided it clashed with the musical statement and mixed it out of the final product. That, and the fact that I (rightly so) demanded half of the royalties (which equalled about enough to buy a 6pack). You people suck! (05-07-1999)

The beer belly guy-front right (beergut@jackass.com) says:
We worked long and hard on this fine album for a period of OVER 3 days! It took us several days just to learn how to set up the equipment! I don't appreciate this bad review of our fine musical achievements! And that clip of "Barbara Ann" doesn't give our excellent recording quality justice! We spent in excess of 100 dollars recording this album! We worked hard to get that muffled, early 50's production in the 70's sound! You're just fucking jealous! I hate YOU! (04-26-1999)

electric indian says:
interesting the fourth gent (back left) is not in the band- he owns the car. it was kind of a "if you want to use my car you have to let me in the photo" type of thing... (03-25-1999)

Munch says:
My suitemate Scott is gay. You know what would make my day? A bag of Frito Lays. That's all I have to say. (03-20-1999)

Ferdinand Diaz III (shoebearing@hotmail.com) says:
I love it. It's so cool. OH MY GOSH. I have to let the dog out. Hold on. (03-20-1999)

sirgutwriter (sirgutwriter@onepine.com) says:
Quite mediocre and normal. I've heard far worse. How about a Michigan lounge band with a 12 minute rendition of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" with sax and accordian? (01-28-1999)

JustPlainJane says:
Gag-a-rama!! Somebody needs to stand up on the band stand and remind the drummer of Tempo, boy, Tempo! I haven't heard anything this tacky since I left (you guessed it) New York. (01-05-1999)

Sir Droopy Drawers says:
Okay, Okay,.....I guess the LSD I took in the 70's is finally affecting me. Your mentioned "The Estate" is made up of 3 guys, yet the album cover shows 4 guys. Well, perhaps with the long hair, the one "guy" is really a woman? (with a beard yet?) Please excuse me, my asylum awaits for me....... (12-20-1998)

Titus Groan Again says:
CHOKE....GAG...BARRRFFF.... (11-08-1998)

TITUS GROAN says:
ECCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH......BLAAARRRRGGHHHH..... (09-23-1998)

Sir Droopy Drawers says:
and we thought SHOREHAM was bad?!!! (06-27-1998)

Sir Droopy Drawers says:
D-I-V-O-R-C-E ! (03-22-1998)

Richard says:
I think I'm going to blow chunks... (01-21-1998)




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