Parakeet Training Record

Train your parakeet the scientific way!

In the 60's, science had an answer for everything, and vinyl did much more than just supply you with the latest pop tunes. For a mere 98 cents, this 45rpm disc from Hartz Mountain claimed to be able to teach your parakeet to talk using a "scientific new method". The idea, it would seem, was to place your bird near the record player while a "carefully trained voice" recited over and over again a series of banal phrases. "Hello, baby", says the voice. "Hello, baby".

Whether this worked or not is anyone's guess (put me down for No), but judging from the wear on this particular disc, it would appear that somebody gave it a shot. It's actually hard to imagine how much easier using this record might have been compared to the "old fashioned" method it replaced. Considering that each side of the thing is only about 3 minutes long, a dedicated parakeet owner would have had to do an awful lot of record-flipping to generate any appreciable amount of listening time. Weigh that against the disadvantage to having your parakeet learn only those phrases carefully selected by the Hartz Mountain engineers, and -- wait, I keep forgetting. This was the 60's, and these are consumers we're talking about.

It's too bad that the parakeet training concept seems to have been a passing phenomenon. With today's multi-gigabyte MP3 players able to hold hours of sound, it might actually have a chance. Hello, baaaaaby...

Parakeet Training Record
(click picture to magnify)
Send a Postcard! Next Exhibit


Introduction/Hello, Baby! (Real Audio) Teaching your parakeet to talk is fun! But the old method took too much time!
Good Morning (Real Audio) Good morning. Wanna eat? Good morning. Wanna eat!
Real Parakeet (Real Audio) If you ask me, the "real parakeet" sounds suspiciously like the announcer holding a handkerchief over his mouth.

Your Comments:

P>I>M>P says:
dont talk to a old lady like that (07-08-2004)

Peanut Head says:
Hey "gramma"..why donchoo GO TA HELL!!!

first, dis is a VYNIL MUZEEUM stupid...not fer da goddamn da GOOGLE search fer da damn parakeets, YA STUPID ASS...

Ya also fergot ta give us yer http site fer YER PORNO site....

Now go away, YA OLT BAG YA....why doncha buy some JAMMY OSMINDT CdS, old dem an it will make ya fergit bout yer saggy frustrated tits dere....oops,, whazzat mommy?...(I haveta go...bye)... (07-07-2004)

Kim ( says:
how can you tell if a parakeet is a boy or a girl because i have 4 birds and i want them to have babies! ! ! please answer me fast! ! ! (07-05-2004)

gramma says:
You people aren't real helpful on parakeet subjects. Why don't you just go to a porn site and leave this site for the people who want to know about taking care of their birds??? (07-05-2004)

homie gurl (cutie) says:
i want to know more about how to train a parakeet really easy.


Peanut Head says:
Get TWO parkeeets dere "Z"...if one dies ya can eat it like chickin wings...

YOu need help figurin' how many parkeeps da buy? an peeps tink that I'M stupid?? Wow, Z....better ya spend yer money on da JAMMY OSMUNDT two and never mind doze birds will POOP on yer sunday shirt DEN ya have ta 'splain to da priest when he say, "HEY, Z...howcum ya got SHIT on yer SHIRT?"...why don you wear NO shirt like dat Bill Cosbley LP??

Better, go nekkid wid some liqour DEN dat priest mommy is calling me...bye... (06-30-2004)

Z says:
Should i get one or 2 parakeets? (06-30-2004)

Maggie ( says:
HELP! My keet is opening her mouth but nothing is coming out. I am feeling so bad. She was fine until today. Does anyone know what might be wrong with her? She is about 3 years old and always chirped before. (06-19-2004)

Richard Cranium says:
Ya got ta give them the finger, Kellie! (06-16-2004)

Kellie says:
My birds fly around the house but never on my finger, how do you teach them to go on your fingers? (06-15-2004)

Richard Cranium says:
Teach the damn birds some English, but all fukked up stuff....remember that skit of Robin Williams where he wonders to teach his kids all sorts of stupid English and the kid grows up not knowing any better?

Well, do THAT to the birds and have a good laugh. Looks like that lamebrain Peanut Head's parents (Mr. & Mrs. Brazil Nut?) did that to the poor joker.

Just buy the album...$0.98 and you can't go wrong. (06-13-2004)


JR says:
PLEASE TELL ME (06-13-2004)

JR says:
Im am trying to train my birds to step on my finnger its not working (06-13-2004)

George W. Bush says:
I MEAN IT, Peanut the internet...and take your stupid Jimmy Osmund Cds with you.....what a MORON..... (05-26-2004)

Peanut Head says:
Easy JOSH...git dat birdcage in fronna yer spekers, den put on da JAMMY OSNMIND CDs...fore ya know it, dat bird gonna be TAME and chirpin'...
Dat bird wil even SHIT on yer arm when ya asks it to...AWESOME!!!

So git nekked wit dat bird, sum JAMMY/smokes/liqour den ya can...oops....Mommy...bye. (05-23-2004)

josh salgado ( says:

Peanut Head says:
Teresa, jest ASK it....BOY!!!!

I'm leaving Mommy isn't even calling THERE!! (05-19-2004)

Teresa ( says:
My father found a parakeet on his fence.and gave it to me How can you tell if its a boy or girl? (05-19-2004)

Trevor White ( says:
my parkeet was born 4,30,04 & can say here kitty kitty (05-08-2004)

Advertise on this site

More Comments - Go To Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Got something to say about Parakeet Training Record? Use this form to post your comments or write your own mini-review. Your comments will appear right on this page for everyone to see!

Your Name:
Email Address: (Optional)

(click to enlarge)
  In order to help avoid spam, please answer the following question:
What is the woman in this picture carrying?

cell phone

Previous Exhibit Museum Home Next Exhibit
You are browsing in alphabetical order. Switch to chronological order.   ...   frank's vinyl museum   ...   webversi   ...   photo albums   ...   blog   ...   trs-80   ...
Search this site: