presents...

The Price Is Right

Sexucational Songs, Scientifically Sung by Claudia Wheeler

I wasn't sure what to make of this Beacon records release when I first saw it for sale on ebay. Two weeks later it showed up in my mailbox and I'm still scratching my head. The Price Is Right, subtitled "sexucational songs scientifically sung by Claudia Wheeler", is certainly no children's record (note the message "for grown-ups only" in the upper right hand corner of the jacket), but on the other hand it's not the kind of crass underground recording typical of this genre either. Accompanied by a lovely pianist, Claudia Wheeler sings about the raunchiest subjects in the most dignified and ladylike way possible. Even the liner notes talk about how "the charm and beauty of Claudia is reflected in the songs on this unique album". Yes, she's charming, and beautiful, but that song about Little Boy Blue is just a bit too blue for high society, I would think.

I still can't figure out what about this record is supposed to be "scientific" or "educational", but I did find out (again by reading the informative liner notes) that Claudia Wheeler is a native of Detroit who started out as a dancer in "the best known clubs and theatres", and that Beacon Records president Joe Barns is confident I will derive as much listening pleasure out of this album as he had making it. That fits my budget!

The Price Is Right
(click picture to magnify)
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Songs:

I'll Give You a Screw (Real Audio) Here's what Claudia will do for you if you ain't got a nail.
I Never Saw a Crack Like That (Real Audio) Folks, it's not cement that Claudia is talking about here.
Little Boy Blue (Real Audio) This needs no further explanation...



Your Comments:

Jim says:
She ain't no Julia Lee but the girl on the cover is comely. (06-18-2004)

stevie wonder bread (bat_radar@hotmail.com) says:
wtf?
that ain't boob barker (05-30-2004)

Peanut Head (peehed@yahoo.ca) says:
Hey Phil!!

Why don't you go and get yourself stuffed?

How waz dat, Fill?? Gees, what a sorehead!!! Whachoo got against Jimmy Osmind anyhow? He da bomb, Fill!!

Get yo' hed out from 'tween yo asscheeks and check out his stuff on dis fine LP.....iffa you can git you eyes offa the cover and you hand off yo dik, FILL!!!

Yo last name should be LAND, den...in da phone book you be LAND, FILL....oops...gotta run...my mommy's calling me....bye... (04-22-2004)

Phil Greenaway says:
PeanutHead - talk properly. (04-10-2004)

Peanut Head (peehed@yahoo.ca) says:
Jimmy Osmund is on dis album...he is singing dat song "Get cha hands off my bowling ball".....Da chick on the cover is hot, but she ain't no Mary Osmund, know what I mean?
How cum da Beatles never covered any of dis shit? This stuff IS DA BOMB, BABY!!!! Dat naked chick on da cover makes me so frikkin' .....oops...gotta go....my Mommy is calling me....bye (03-25-2004)

weirdo says:
I got a bonner from lookin at this picture! I can't see it anymore becus I got a stane on the screen. (03-14-2004)

Anthony Taylor (scootscooterguy@aol.com) says:
hello do any of you guys think
bob barker will ever retire of
being the host of the price is
right well i think he might be
hosting the price is right untill
he is like 90 then he will have made
an new world record of being the worlds
longest game show host in history
from anthony taylor
of norwood ohio (03-14-2004)

Anthony Taylor (scootscooterguy@aol.com) says:
hello do any of you guys think
bob barker will ever retire of
being the host of the price is
right well i think he might be
hosting the price is right untill
he is like 90 then he will have made
an new world record of being the worlds
longest game show host in history
from anthony taylor
of norwood ohio (03-14-2004)

Dave Conwell says:
The knot on the balloon was purposely put there. It worked to the point of banning the album in many stores and states. You gotta love those PR people. and the model on the cover is DEFINATELY NOT Claudia Wheeler. Many were perceptive enough to hear that Ms. Wheeler was much into her later years as the model is clearly 20-something.

Clarence Reid ("Blowfly") certainly did the "Bang Your box" track.

nd finally, for some of those out there confused, this album had NOTHING to do with Bob Barker or the well-known game show. (01-24-2004)

Todd South (tcsouth@yahoo.com) says:
I want to hear the whole album. Hillarious! (01-23-2004)

Mary McBee (fran0601@seark.net) says:
I just learned that Bob Barker will be retiring at the end of this year. I would like to suggest a replacement, his name is Billy Bush, he was on a game show a number of months ago. I don't remember but I think it was "Let's Make a Deal".
My family has been a fan of Bob Barker for years. Please consider my suggestion, if you do not intend to promote someone already on the show.
Thanks. (01-21-2004)

M1573R_G4V!!1 says:
If you squint, the knot on the pink balloon looks like a nipple. (11-16-2003)

Mmmmmm says:
Horn...Crack...Who the hell would want a nail when she has a Screw; unless, of course, you mean to Nail that Crack. (11-13-2003)

Papibear says:
I was expecting the soulful singing of Bob Barker....hmm...naked ladies singing naughty tunes, much better! (09-30-2003)

Rob Hopkins (tprophet [at] tprophet [dot] org) says:
Wow. This is incredible stuff, and certainly worthy of including in a pretty hardcore trance mix. ;) (09-30-2003)

Curt Crider (curtcrider2003@yahoo.com) says:
Thank you Thank you!!! Never have I heard such
lovely debauchery done with so much pinache' (09-12-2003)

razor (razor @hotmail.com) says:
To Dan O'Connell:
You are looking for an artist named Blowfly. He did "baby let me bang you box", among many raunchy others. (09-11-2003)

Mark R. Hill aka. "Dr.Mark" (drmark7@juno.com) says:
I don't think the woman appearing on the cover is the singer of the album. I'm pretty sure that's JULIE NEWMAR (aka. Catwoman) on the cover. An early modeling job of hers.

Questions?/Comments? * This Has Been e-mail From:
"Dr. Mark" Hill * The Doctor Of Pop Culture /*/ drmark7@juno.com
Photos: http://photos.yahoo.com/drmark7
MY WEBPAGE: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/popmusicpopculture (09-04-2003)

Clarence says:
I wonder what "Price was Right" when Wheeler worked in the "Best Known Clubs"? (07-18-2003)

Powertool says:
I just lost my nails (05-28-2003)





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