presents...

Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits

Oh, the humanity!

I've spent a lot of time contemplating the mystery of Mrs. Elva Miller from Claremont, California. I have to conclude that her recording career is one of the cruelest practical jokes ever devised by the record industry.

For the most part, the flubs on Frank's Vinyl Museum are the result of serious artists and serious record producers badly missing the mark. Mrs. Miller's album is definitely over the top, but I get the very sinister feeling from the liner notes that while Miller herself may have been completely serious about what she was doing, whoever coaxed her to make this album was laughing on the inside, and probably egging her on to be even more extreme. The sarcasm is very subtle, just enough to give the wink to record collectors like us while keeping poor Mrs. Miller in the dark. References to her "impeccible diction" and "scintillating delivery" abound, as well as the accolade "one of the most interesting voices extant... one that brings to mind the tonal qualities of a Florence Foster Jenkins or a Mrs. B. J. Fangman". Jane Morgan's Fresh Flavor LP, featured elsewhere on this site, contains similar sentiments, but at least she can lay claim to some prior recording history.

I almost feel bad for exploiting Mrs. Miller this way, but once you listen to her songs, you'll know why her fans can't resist her. Enjoy!

Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits
(click picture to magnify)
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Songs:

Downtown (MP3) Brace yourself for the best rendition of 'Downtown' ever!
A Hard Day's Night (MP3) Beatle butchering at its very best.

See Also: Fresh Flavor

Your Comments:

Krista says:
Holy shit! Not to toot my own horn, but I can sing better than this after a 6-pack of Pabst. Then again, I'm sure anyone would think they sounded good after a sixer... even Mrs. Miller herself! (04-21-2005)

Maalox (thecollards@yahoo.com) says:
One word: genius. (04-20-2005)

ynnod says:
GREAT ENGINEERING! Falsetto is really quite original -- Avant: YES! (04-18-2005)

Michael in SJ says:
If anyone can find a video of a 60's movie called "The Cool Ones" starring Roddy McDowell as a record producer searching for the next great sound of the 60's pop groups...Mrs. Miller is featured as a prop mistress and ends up singing "It's Magic" on a pop show ala..American Bandstand/Holoballu/Shindig...(well before American Idol). (04-18-2005)

hannibal (hanniballecturer@gmail.com) says:
well, she can't sing, but my, what a bod (04-01-2005)

Criticman (criticman2000@yahoo.com) says:
The story behind Mrs. Miller is that her husband was a wealthy businessman who wanted to get her out of his hair (the children were grown and on their own), but he didn't want to upset her, so, knowing she loved to sing, her booked time at the best studio available, hired the best sidemen he could get and arrangers, etc., etc. and let her at it. He then hired a first rate promoter to see if he could get her music on a label, and Capitol, bit. For all intents and purposes, she was aware of how she sounded, but she was in demand and well-loved. And why not? She was a nice grandma from the midwest. She did take her music very seriously, though... (03-31-2005)

prefer not to be associated (or let anyone know i listened to it) says:
I played this and had it turned up to a moderate level. About a minute into it my dogs stared to bark and get upset two rooms away. Sorry to say my eyes were watering and not from laughing....... (03-31-2005)

shelby says:
if i was john lennon i would be rolling in my grave. that was THE worst cover of a hard days night EVER. how is this one of her "greatest hits"?. im scared to hear anything that isn't on this cd because i might decided to jump off something really tall. (03-29-2005)

Elee says:
Aint got nothin on Wing (www.wingmusic.co.nz), but her whistling diddly adds a little spunk. (03-29-2005)

Jackie (jbl2215@comcast.net) says:
wonderful memories...thanks (03-27-2005)

Not deaf enough says:
Words cannot describe the waves of horror and pain I feel emanating from the small mammals she is apparently slaughtering to produce these banshee sounds. (03-26-2005)

adam (adamnortenn@netscape.net) says:
Now LIVE the Wing experience! And know the face (and high pitched-trilly voice) of TRUE EVIL :

http://www.wingtunes.com/public/songs.aspx

Roy Colbert of the New Zealand Listener writes:" This was like no other voice I had ever heard." Then goes on to say, "...ideal for calling dogs and other small animals, and warn deer away from speeding cars..."

Sleep well, knowing

(03-24-2005)

Pardon Me While I Rock You says:
On the cover, she's saying, "Come on, pal. One more step and I'll shove this up your patootie. You think I'm fuckin' with ya? Just TRY me, cocksucker!" At least that's what I hear. (03-23-2005)

Jopi says:
But don't forget - she DID earn a Grammy nomination! And travelled the world entertaining the troops! And had a number 1 hit!Who among us can claim the same? I love her and miss her!! (03-21-2005)

Robear (rasanche@usc.edu) says:
My earliest memories are of my mother playing Mrs. Miller's Greatest hits in Japan, (My dad was stationed there in the early to middle 1960's. I keep her albums safe and secure, hoping for the day I too can play them again, when they find out CD's and DVD's cause cancer, and only LP's and Reel to Reel are safe. (03-18-2005)

Sir Droopy Drawers says:
These are her "greatest hits"? I would hate to hear the ones that didn't make the cut..I think this would be a good opportunity to lay out in the middle of a 12 lane highway, and pursue my career as a speedbump! (03-16-2005)

punky (cheryl_maclellan@hotmail.com) says:
nerve racking!!!! if you want to have a nervous breakdown go for it (03-09-2005)

Frankie Satin says:
Is this the Mrs. Miller that was a fixture in the studio audiences of every TV show taped in Hollywood? (02-11-2005)

Whitebeard says:
Sounds like a cat with it's tail in the garbage disposal! Oh GOD.. I thought that I heard EVERYTHING, but this is totally F-A-R O-U-T! Everyone needs to experience this... (02-02-2005)

perky (perkyhousewife@yahoo.com) says:
eeeeek nails on a blackboard!Its like bad karaoke! (02-01-2005)






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